And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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