The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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