they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
