Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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