duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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