make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize