just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
