Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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