I got chris browned last night
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
