he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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