I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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