But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
