He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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