i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
