There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
