think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
