her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
