he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
