Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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