AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
