that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
