do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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