guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
