So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
