GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize