its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
