Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I want to have your abortion
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
