I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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