I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
