The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Your shirt... Was in my pants
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
