she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
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