none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
