I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My life is pants optional.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
