how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
