Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Your dad touched me again.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
