Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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