My hand turned me down
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
