lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
