i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
