the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
