Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize