drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
