I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
