3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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