If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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