Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island

Fav 5 3766 852
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(336): View more from North Carolina

This house was built for laser tag.

Fav 14 9289 984
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.

Fav 46 7731 1753
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(913): View more from Kansas

season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.

Fav 33 5006 1300
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(305): View more from Florida

God, you're like boner-b-gone

Fav 10 1545 5948
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(205): View more from Alabama

After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.

Fav 20 5234 1587
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.

Fav 2 808 646
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(415): View more from California

Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.

Fav 0 38 33
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