I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize