ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize