like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
