It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
