therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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