Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
3 2 1 whiskey
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
