butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
