butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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