it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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