He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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