Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
