So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
