Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
