im six kinds of drunk right now
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
