I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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