I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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