also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
